Your internal world — the reality that you experience within your mind
and emotions — is a world that you and only you control and create. You
may be able to manipulate your exterior world (ie: change jobs to get away
from a bad boss, move to a new home to increase space, reshuffle your
finances to improve your future security, etc.), but it is the world
inside that you really have the most influence.
Here is a case in point. I have a client who gets upset every time she speaks
to her adult daughter. It seems that this daughter dumps all her drama on her
mom, which disturbs the mom and causes her to continuously worry. What mom
could do is give daughter some support and encouragement and then let it go.
This is the only control she has in this situation. It is still her daughter’s
decision whether or not she will heed the advice. Obviously she can’t make the
changes for her daughter.
When you realize that you are powerless over another person, it releases you of
the burden to HAVE to make things better. Instead, control how you feel about
things and how you react to things and you will be making a huge difference by
freeing yourself from the distress and turmoil you have felt before. In addition,
you will be creating a more peaceful environment in which to live.
How you experience your world is really up to you. Your reactions to life don’t
have to be automatic or similar to ones you have had before. Here is where your
control comes in – you have the power to respond differently to everything,
starting now. You have the power to be a different person in response to what
happens to you and to unburden yourself of the way you used to handle things. You can become your greatest support by choosing how it’s going to be – because you
are in charge of your tomorrow!
Amy Sherman, LMHC
Author: “Distress-Free Aging: A Boomer’s Guide to Creating a
Fulfilled and Purposeful Life” and The Joy of Optimism eCourse.