As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
Monthly Archives: October 2009
Thanksgiving Memories
As we approach thanksgiving, what does it stir within you?
The story of thanksgiving has given rise to children’s pageants all
over the United States where children dress up as pilgrims and
natives. It was always obvious that the pilgrims had so many reasons
for gratitude. They fled a country where they couldn’t practice their
beliefs and where they experienced persecution. They came to a new
world where little that they came with prepared them for what they
would face and how they could live. Their survival depended on the
generosity of the natives who knew how to live in the land that had
been the natives’ home before the pilgrims ever existed. I remember
the inferred lessons of appreciating people who were different than
you and that good can come from unexpected places.
What pageants have you acted in this year? What parts have you played
and what costumes have you worn? For example, were you part of the
appearance of recession and did you give like the natives and receive
like the pilgrims? What intentions did you set in motion and what has
come forward? What have you fled, left behind, detached from? What
new worlds have you come to embrace? How are you stepping into your
new world lightly and with Divine Grace so that your presence here is
something that will evoke thanksgiving in generations to come?
I grew up in a time when prejudices happened with little awareness.
So the children like me in my class who got the parts of “Indians”
were the second class citizens just like “Indians” were second class
citizens in the pageants who ended up being cheated and persecuted by
the very people that they had saved. (That happened off the stage).
We were background to the main story of the pretty pilgrims and their
heroism of coming to the new world. Pilgrims had scripts with lines;
“Indians” could ad-lib grunts and bows, presenting pretty dishes to
the pretty pilgrims. In recent years new sensitivity has begun to
emerge about the role of the natives. There’s even room to understand
that the very notion of thanksgiving shared with and adopted by the
immigrants. Thanksgiving belonged to the natives who simply stayed
fresh and vital by exercising and practicing an ancient tradition of
expressing thanks for what Life, Great Spirit bestows lavishly upon
all the earth for all the earth’s offspring.
This thanksgiving what if you consider not only the things that
inspire gratitude, but also acknowledge and release the places of
prejudice and little awareness. What happens when we become conscious
of more and more and more? If you open a can of cranberry sauce or
gravy, can you consider all the store workers, the freight drivers,
the factory employees, the farmers, the farm plants and animals, the
soil, the water, the sun? What if for one in every ten bites, you
simply contemplated one of the ways through which that food came to you?
I give thanks for my awareness of you…Vaughan Amare
Never give up on LOVE
AGAIN AND AGAIN
I Bring Myself To Love Again and Again
If you’ve ever felt like a failure at love, you know that love doesn’t give up beckoning. It wants you. It wants you to change your mind about yourself and about love.
It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve failed at love. It doesn’t matter. LOVE OFFERS YOU AN OPEN INVITATION TO VISIT AND GET TO KNOW ALL THAT LOVE MIGHT YIELD. All you need do is come to love again, opening to learn beyond the barren fields of your earlier days.
It isn’t easy to come to love again, and again. Yet, so many of us must because we never learned to open to love’s calling. Instead, we learned to pull away. Just as love gave it’s heart to us, we pulled away in fear of being loved. Yet, once again alone, we felt the pull of love again, to come again to love. Yes, come again. Love is waiting for you. Just hold out your hand. Love is waiting for you. Come again.
Come, come, whoever you are,
Ours is not a caravan of despair.
Come even if you have broken your vow a hundred times
Come, come again, come.
Rumi
—————————————————————-
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Midlife Transition: How to Change the Life You’re Giving Yourself
By Guy Finley
We meet life, with all of its complex relationships, through what we know. Each daily event, with its
dozens of unsuspected twists and turns, challenges us to come up with our best answers. Once our most
suitable answer is at hand, we launch it and ourselves into action and watch to see what happens. With
each situation this challenge and response process is repeated over and over again, until the condition
resolves itself for us, either favorably or not.
The point being made here is that at any given moment we always do what we know. This may seem very
obvious, but with closer examination, especially in light of the fact we wish to elevate ourselves and
what we are getting from this life, we will discover something very astounding.
Read the next three sentences very carefully. I have separated this trio of important ideas for ease of
reading, but they are very much connected to each other. Each higher idea leads to the next one, and
when they are absorbed all together, they will tell you a great secret.
Before you can get anything different from this life, you must first do something different.
Before you can do anything different with your life, you must first know something different.
Before you can know anything different, you must first suspect and then confirm that it is your present
level of understanding that has brought you what you now wish you could change.
Now let’s reverse the order of these right ideas so that we can see how they work from the other way
around.
Until you know something different you cannot do anything different.
Until you do something different you will not get anything different.
And until you really get something different from your life you cannot know what you have missed and how
much more there is to understand.
Here’s the point. Trying to change what you get from life without first changing what you know about
life is like putting on dry clothes over wet ones and then wondering why you keep shivering. You must
stop trying to change what you are getting for yourself and go to work on changing what you are giving
to yourself.
It is vital for you to realize that life has not held back its riches from you. The truth be known,
which it will be, you have been held back from real life by a false nature which thinks life is meant to
be suffered through and that all there is to insulate it from a harsh world is what it can win and
possess for itself.
While there is no denying our world is becoming more and more cruel, there is also no denying that we
are the world. Neither our individual world nor the global one can change until the connection between
what we experience and who we are is no longer denied.
This is why we must have a new knowledge. Spiritual knowledge isn’t something mysterious or out of this
world. In fact, spiritual understanding is the most important and practical knowledge a person can
possess. It is ultimately what we know about ourselves, about who we really are, that determines the
quality of our life.
The truth is we cannot separate our answers from our actions and our actions from their results. They
may appear to be individual in their operation because they often occur at different times, but they are
really one thing. Intellectually we already know this important concept, but its deep significance
hasn’t yet become clear.
Let’s look at the old adage, “As ye sow, so shall ye reap.” Here we can see a new significance in this
New Testament teaching. What you sow is seed or, in this metaphor, your knowledge. What you reap is the
crop, or your results. This spiritual knowledge shows us the great importance of reconsidering what we
think we know. Life is trying to reach us and teach us, through our experience of it, that we need new
and true answers. These higher answers serve as a special kind of personal shelter that effortlessly
keeps out what is harmful and keeps in what is healthy and life-giving. That is its nature.
Here are five examples of how these higher answers can work for you. You’ll see how each one also
suggests a new action and promises a new result. Remember that each complete section, one through five,
represents a whole action. In reality, you cannot separate your answers from your actions and your
actions from their results. Just as warmth must follow sunlight, so must a higher, happier life follow
when inner-light is allowed to flourish.
1. Your New Answer: Real strength is the refusal to act from weakness.
Your New Action: See where you have been calling inner-weakness an inner strength; such as calling
anxiety concern, or anger righteousness. Dare to live without these false strengths.
Your New Result: The end of your confusion and pain over why your strength so often fails you. At the
same time you will realize the birth of a new and true strength that never turns into its weak opposite.
2. Your New Answer: Have the courage to proceed even while knowing that you are afraid.
Your New Action: Dare to take one shaky step after another.
Your New Result: Freedom from a life of fear because fear cannot exist whenever insight is valued above
feeling frightened.
3. Your New Answer: Forgiveness is the personal understanding that except for circumstance there is no
real difference between you and your offender.
Your New Action: In spite of all the inner-screams to the contrary, dare to treat your trespasser as you
would want to be treated.
Your New Result: When you stop punishing others for their weakness, you will stop punishing yourself for
yours.
4. Your New Answer: Compassion is the conscious refusal to add to another person’s suffering, even
though it may seem to increase yours.
Your New Action: Dare to shoulder one hundred times the mental and emotional weight you think you can
carry.
Your New Result: Contained right within the suffering is the glimpse that there is no sufferer.
5. Your New Answer: Real hope is the fact that there is always a Higher Solution.
Your New Action: See that any time you feel pained or defeated, it is only because you insist on
clinging to what doesn’t work. Dare to let go and you won’t lose a thing except for a punishing idea.
Your New Result: A new life that fears no inner or outer challenge since defeat can only exist in the
absence of a willingness to learn.
Now that you have reviewed these five new and true answers, you may wish to write down some of your own.
This is highly profitable for accelerating your inner growth. Don’t be discouraged if at first you can’t
come up with any new ideas. There is great gain in your efforts because even the smallest attempt to
find new answers is a new answer! The more you work with truthful principles, the more they will work
for you.
Always remember when you work with powerful higher ideas such as these that there are many temporarily
unknown parts of yourself that may try to mislead you. They know that your growing true spiritual
insight will lead you away from their harmful influence and deliver you to true safety. No matter what
the harmful voices within may say, whosoever puts the Truth first will never lose anything except for
that which was never real in the first place.
—–
Nothing in the universe can stop you from letting go and starting over! For the daring person who wishes
to turn this possibility into reality, the keys to less stress and brighter days are found in Guy
Finley’s newly revised and expanded best-selling book, “The Secret of Letting Go.” Just as gentle spring
rains stir the seeds that become beautiful wildflowers, so will the higher lessons in this book help you
let go and grow free. Finley is the acclaimed author of more than 35 books and audio programs on the
subject of self-realization, and is the founder and director of Life of Learning Foundation, a nonprofit
center for self-study located in Southern Oregon. Visit http://www.guyfinley.com for more info
and to request your FREE Unstoppable Starter Kit. And don’t forget to check out Guy’s new program
The Secrets of Being Unstoppable
Are You Hearing What I’m Saying? — 10 Tips That Will Help You Improve Your Listening Skills
- By Sharon L. Mikrut
Ernest Hemingway once said “When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.” How true that is. How many times has someone asked you how you were, but doesn’t take the time to listen to your response? They may cut you off, start talking about themselves, or walk away. If you’re like most people, this behavior probably leaves a sour taste in your mouth. People want to be heard and listened to; they want to feel like someone cares.
Be honest with yourself. Do you exhibit the same behaviors that you dislike, or do you make every attempt to hear and listen to those around you? If you find that your listening skills are poor or need tweaking, this article provides tips on how to be a better listener.
1. Make a commitment to improve your listening skills. It is important to note that listening is not a skill with which we are born. We have to learn how to develop good listening skills, and continuously practice what we learn. There are classes and books dedicated to helping individuals learn and perfect their listening skills.
2. Talk less and listen more. Most people like to talk, especially about themselves. As such, work on talking less and listening more. When listening to someone, you might want to jump in and offer an opinion or suggestion; however, make every effort not to do so. Give him the opportunity to be fully heard. In your mind, repeat every word he says, immediately after he has said it. This will help you keep your own thoughts at bay, as you will be listening only to the speaker’s words.
3. Whether you are listening to a friend, co-worker, or employee, give them your undivided attention. Make sure there are no distractions (e.g., phones, computers, TVs) that would interfere with your giving full attention to the speaker. If the distractions are unavoidable, try to separate yourself from them to the best of your ability.
4. Display objectivity when listening to others. Set aside your own thoughts, judgments, and experiences. Act as if you don’t have any attachment to what is being said.
5. When listening to people with different viewpoints, put yourself in their shoes. Although you may not agree with them, it might help you to better understand their perspective. Try to find a common ground; areas in which you both agree.
6. Wait until a person has finished speaking before you respond. If you are formulating a response while the person is speaking, you are not truly listening to him.
7. In order to communicate that the individual has been heard, summarize or paraphrase what he just said to confirm that you heard him correctly.
8. When listening to someone, takes notes, if needed, to remember important points.
9. As you listen to people, pay attention to how they are conveying their message. Are they loud? Are they speaking quickly? Which words do they use to express what they are feeling? What is the tone of their voice? Their tone generally reflects their emotions; how they are feeling about the issue. When people are angry, upset, or passionate about an issue, the volume of their voice increases, and the tone changes. When they are excited, they may talk faster. When they are depressed, they may talk slow, and the tone of their voice may be sad or devoid of any emotion.
10. When listening to others, also observe their nonverbal behaviors, as sometimes the individual’s words and non-verbal behaviors will be contradictory. Are their arms and/or legs crossed? Are they looking directly at you or avoiding eye contact? Is their body turned away from you? Typically, these are signs that the person is “closed” from having a conversation; he may be embarrassed, or trying to avoid a confrontation, or simply doesn’t want to talk. Conversely, if the individual is smiling, looking directly at you, and has a relaxed stance, he is open to dialogue.
Listening is one of the greatest gifts you can give to another person. By improving your listening skills, you will be a better friend, colleague, or supervisor. People will naturally gravitate towards you, and appreciate you. The above tips will help, but it your responsibility to continuously work on improving your listening skills. It may take time and effort, but the rewards will be worth it.
Copyright 2009 © Sharon L. Mikrut, All rights reserved.
** To comment on this article or to read comments about this article, go here.
About the Author:
If you want to make positive changes in your personal and/or professional life, and create the life you desire and deserve, then working with Executive & Life Coach, Sharon L. Mikrut, is the solution. Although her specialty is in partnering with nonprofit executive directors and managers to maximize their resources in a competitive environment, she is passionate about working with all individuals committed to personal and/or professional growth. Visit her website and sign up for her free monthly messages, tidbits, and resource information. In addition, visit her “Nonprofit Professionals” blog. Sharon is also available to speak to your group, association or organization.