Baby Boomers and the Midlife Transition – Keeping Our Minds Supple

This is an article from Daily Om — something I read frequently. I’m about to release a teleclass experience to help change beliefs – I thought this article would get us all ready.

Questioning Everything
A lot of people feel threatened if they feel they are being asked to question their cherished beliefs or their perception of reality. Yet questioning is what keeps our minds supple and strong. Simply settling on one way of seeing things and refusing to be open to other possibilities makes the mind rigid and generally creates a restrictive and uncomfortable atmosphere. We all know someone who refuses to budge on one or more issues, and we may have our own sacred cows that could use a little prodding. Being open-minded means that we are willing to question everything, including those things we take for granted.

A willingness to question everything, even things we are sure we are right about, can shake us out of complacency and reinvigorate our minds, opening us up to understanding people and perspectives that were alien to us before. This alone is good reason to remain inquisitive, no matter how much experience we have or how old we get. In the Zen tradition, this willingness to question is known as beginner’s mind, and it has a way of generating possibilities we couldn’t have seen from the point of view of knowing something with certainty. The willingness to question everything doesn’t necessarily mean we don’t believe in anything at all, and it doesn’t mean we have to question every single thing in the world every minute of the day. It just means that we are humble enough to acknowledge how little we actually know about the mysterious universe we call home.

Nearly every revolutionary change in the history of human progress came about because someone questioned some time-honored belief or tradition and in doing so revealed a new truth, a new way of doing things, or a new standard for ethical and moral behavior. Just so, a commitment to staying open and inquisitive in our own individual lives can lead us to new personal revolutions and truths, truths that we will hopefully, for the sake of our growth, remain open to questioning.

Excuses Be Gone by Dr. Wayne Dyer

Midlife is an awesome opportunity to see if what you have been producing in life is what you want to continue to experience.
Please invest the time to review the excerpt from Dr. Wayne Dyer’s brand new book “Excuses Be Gone” and then look on the right of this blog for his picture and click on it to get your copy now. There’s even a free trip to Maui involved! ;-) )

I Can’t Afford It

It’s a rare day when I don’t hear some variation of this excuse, including: “I didn’t go to
college because it was too expensive,” “I haven’t been able to travel because I never had the
funds,” and “I couldn’t go into the business I wanted because I had to stay where I was and earn
money to pay the bills.”

I call this belief lame and a cop out, yet there seems to be almost universal agreement for its existence.

You originated in a world of abundance, which you unquestionably have the ability to access.

Whenever you discourage yourself with thoughts that your financial situation is preventing
anything from appearing, that’s an excuse. If you instead decide to bring abundance awareness
into your consciousness, you’ll shift your thoughts from I can’t afford it to Whatever I need in the
form of assistance to guide me in the direction of my life is not only available, but is on its way.

You’ll then consciously watch for the necessary funding to show up, but you’ll also be reminding
yourself to believe that you have the ability to use abundance to elevate your life.

Encourage yourself by realizing that you have the capacity to create a space within you that’s
filled with peace and joy, an inner island of contentment that has nothing to do with money.

Practice gratitude for the essentials of life, which are yours to enjoy virtually free of charge.
These include air, water, fire, the sun, and the moon; the very ground you walk on; the continuous
beating of your heart; the inhaling and exhaling of your lungs; your food digesting; your eyes and
ears; and so on. Be utterly grateful for all that you have naturally, which is beyond the scope of
what’s “affordable.” As that endeavor strengthens, assess what you’d truly like to do, where
you’d like to live, and what creature comforts you desire.

When I made the decision to attend college after spending four years in the military, for
instance, I knew in my heart that money wasn’t going to be the thing that prevented me from
reaching my goals. I understood the costs involved, and I didn’t act on my fear of shortage or
what I couldn’t afford – I acted on my internal knowing that I indeed was going to attend the
university. This knowing prompted me to investigate financial assistance from the government as
a veteran, open a savings account designated for tuition and books, talk with the financial aid
people at the university, and make alternative plans to attend community college, if plan A were
not to materialize. I had a certainty inside of me that the “I can’t afford it” reasoning is an excuse
that many people who aren’t considered wealthy employ as a means for exonerating themselves
when they need a rationalization for why they’re stuck where they are in life.

Oscar Wilde made this wry observation in 1891: “There is only one class in the community
that thinks more about money than the rich, and that is the poor. The poor can think of nothing
else.” I’d add that such thinking includes lamenting the fact that they’ll never have money. I
advise tossing out this meme, and instead rewiring thoughts to connect with what’s intended to
manifest, regardless of your current financial status.

Whatever you feel is your dharma, and no matter how hard that calling seems to be pulling
you, if you maintain the belief that you can’t manage to pull it off, I can assure you that you’re
right. To paraphrase Henry Ford, whether you believe you can afford to do a thing or not, you’re
right.

Paul Hawken Commencement Address

Paul Hawken is a renowned entrepreneur, visionary environmental activist, founder of Wiser Earth and author of many books — most recently Blessed Unrest.

Last week, he was presented with an honorary doctorate of humane letters by University of Portland, when he delivered this superb commencement address.

Commencement Address to the Class of 2009
University of Portland, May 3rd, 2009

When I was invited to give this speech, I was asked if I could give a simple short talk that was “direct, naked, taut, honest, passionate, lean, shivering, startling, and graceful.” Boy, no pressure there.

But let’s begin with the startling part. Hey, Class of 2009: you are going to have to figure out what it means to be a human being on earth at a time when every living system is declining, and the rate of decline is accelerating. Kind of a mind-boggling situation – but not onepeer-reviewed paper published in the last thirty years can refute that statement.

Basically, the earth needs a new operating system, you are the programmers, and we need it within a few decades.

This planet came with a set of operating instructions, but we seem to have misplaced them. Important rules like don’t poison the water, soil, or air, and don’t let the earth get overcrowded, and don’t touch the thermostat have been broken. Buckminster Fuller said that spaceship earth was so ingeniously designed that no one has a clue that we are on one, flying through the universe at a million miles per hour, with no need for seatbelts, lots of room in coach, and really good food – but all that is changing.

There is invisible writing on the back of the diploma you will receive, and in case you didn’t bring lemon juice to decode it, I can tell you what it says: YOU ARE BRILLIANT, AND THE EARTH IS HIRING. The earth couldn’t afford to send any recruiters or limos to your school. It sent you rain, sunsets, ripe cherries, night blooming jasmine, and that unbelievably cute person you are dating. Take the hint. And here’s the deal: Forget that this task of planet-saving is not possible in the time required. Don’t be put off by people who know what is not possible. Do what needs to be done, and check to see if it was impossible only after you are done.

When asked if I am pessimistic or optimistic about the future, my answer is always the same: If you look at the science about what is happening on earth and aren’t pessimistic, you don’t understand data. But if you meet the people who are working to restore this earth and the lives of the poor, and you aren’t optimistic, you haven’t got a pulse. What I see everywhere in the world are ordinary people willing to confront despair, power, and incalculable odds in order to restore some semblance of grace, justice, and beauty to this world. The poet Adrienne Rich wrote, “So much has been destroyed I have cast my lot with those who, age after age, perversely, with no extraordinary power, reconstitute the world.” There could be no better description. Humanity is coalescing. It is reconstituting the world, and the action is taking place in schoolrooms, farms, jungles, villages, campuses, companies, refuge camps, deserts, fisheries, and slums.

You join a multitude of caring people. No one knows how many groups and organizations are working on the most salient issues of our day: climate change, poverty, deforestation, peace, water, hunger, conservation, human rights, and more. This is the largest movement the world has ever seen.

Rather than control, it seeks connection. Rather than dominance, it strives to disperse concentrations of power. Like Mercy Corps, it works behind the scenes and gets the job done. Large as it is, no one knows the true size of this movement. It provides hope, support, and meaning to billions of people in the world. Its clout resides in idea, not in force. It is made up of teachers, children, peasants, businesspeople, rappers, organic farmers, nuns, artists, government workers, fisherfolk, engineers, students, incorrigible writers, weeping Muslims, concerned mothers, poets, doctors without borders, grieving Christians, street musicians, the President of the United States of America, and as the writer David James Duncan would say, the Creator, the One who loves us all in such a huge way.

There is a rabbinical teaching that says if the world is ending and the Messiah arrives, first plant a tree, and then see if the story is true. Inspiration is not garnered from the litanies of what may befall us; it resides in humanity’s willingness to restore, redress, reform, rebuild, recover, reimagine, and reconsider. “One day you finally knew what you had to do, and began, though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice,” is Mary Oliver’s description of moving away from the profane toward a deep sense of connectedness to the living world.

Millions of people are working on behalf of strangers, even if the evening news is usually about the death of strangers. This kindness of strangers has religious, even mythic origins, and very specific eighteenth-century roots. Abolitionists were the first people to create a national and global movement to defend the rights of those they did not know. Until that time, no group had filed a grievance except on behalf of itself. The founders of this movement were largely unknown – Granville Clark, Thomas Clarkson, Josiah Wedgwood – and their goal was ridiculous on the face of it: at that time three out of four people in the world were enslaved. Enslaving each other was what human beings had done for ages. And the abolitionist movement was greeted with incredulity. Conservative spokesmen ridiculed the abolitionists as liberals, progressives, do-gooders, meddlers, and activists. They were told they would ruin the economy and drive England into poverty. But for the first time in history a group of people organized themselves to help people they would never know, from whom they would never receive direct or indirect benefit. And today tens of millions of people do this every day. It is called the world of non-profits, civil society, schools, social entrepreneurship, and non-governmental organizations, of companies who place social and environmental justice at the top of their strategic goals. The scope and scale of this effort is unparalleled inhistory.

The living world is not “out there” somewhere, but in your heart. What do we know about life? In the words of biologist Janine Benyus, life creates the conditions that are conducive to life. I can think of no better motto for a future economy. We have tens of thousands of abandoned homes without people and tens of thousands of abandoned people without homes. We have failed bankers advising failed regulators on how to save failed assets. Think about this: we are the only species on this planet without full employment. Brilliant. We have an economy that tells us that it is cheaper to destroy earth in real time than to renew, restore, and sustain it. You can print money to bail out a bank but you can’t print life to bail out a planet. At present we are stealing the future, selling it in the present, and calling it gross domestic product. We can just as easily have an economy that is based on healing the future instead of stealing it. We can either create assets for the future or take the assets of the future. One is called restoration and the other exploitation. And whenever we exploit the earth we exploit people and cause untold suffering. Working for the earth is not a way to get rich, it is a way to be rich.

The first living cell came into being nearly 40 million centuries ago, and its direct descendants are in all of our bloodstreams. Literally you are breathing molecules this very second that were inhaled by Moses, Mother Teresa, and Bono. We are vastly interconnected. Our fates are inseparable. We are here because the dream of every cell is to become two cells. In each of you are one quadrillion cells, 90 percent of which are not human cells. Your body is a community, and without those other microorganisms you would perish in hours. Each human cell has 400 billion molecules conducting millions of processes between trillions of atoms. The total cellular activity in one human body is staggering: one septillion actions at any one moment, a one with twenty-four zeros after it. In a millisecond, our body has undergone ten times more processes than there are stars in the universe – exactly what Charles Darwin foretold when he said science would discover that each living creature was a “little universe, formed of a host of self-propagating organisms, inconceivably minute and as numerous as the stars of heaven.”

So I have two questions for you all: First, can you feel your body? Stop for a moment. Feel your body. One septillion activities going on simultaneously, and your body does this so well you are free to ignore it, and wonder instead when this speech will end. Second question: who is in charge of your body? Who is managing those molecules? Hopefully not a political party. Life is creating the conditions that are conducive to life inside you, just as in all of nature. What I want you to imagine is that collectively humanity is evincing a deep innate wisdom in coming together to heal the wounds and insults of the past.

Ralph Waldo Emerson once asked what we would do if the stars only came out once every thousand years. No one would sleep that night, of course. The world would become religious overnight. We would be ecstatic, delirious, made rapturous by the glory of God. Instead the stars come out every night, and we watch television.

This extraordinary time when we are globally aware of each other and the multiple dangers that threaten civilization has never happened, not in a thousand years, not in ten thousand years. Each of us is as complex and beautiful as all the stars in the universe. We have done great things and we have gone way off course in terms of honoring creation. You are graduating to the most amazing, challenging, stupefying challenge ever bequested to any generation. The generations before you failed. They didn’t stay up all night. They got distracted and lost sight of the fact that life is a miracle every moment of your existence. Nature beckons you to be on her side. You couldn’t ask for a better boss. The most unrealistic person in the world is the cynic, not the dreamer. Hopefulness only makes sense when it doesn’t make sense to be hopeful. This is your century. Take it and run as if your life depends on it.

Warning – this article may shock you… The John Edwards Affair

The John Edwards Affair
If I had known earlier what I have just learned from reading excerpts, in Newsweek, taken from Elizabeth Edwards’ recently released book, I would have gone out and put money on the absolute inevitability of her husband’s infidelity. I am quite certain that John Edwards had no choice in the matter. His soul did it for her healing. Let me explain.

It is clear from her own writing that ever since she was 13 years of age, Elizabeth Edwards has been carrying her mother’s pain caused by the suspicion of Elizabeth’s father’s infidelity. Here are some of her own words as quoted in Newsweek:

“At 13 I had read my mother’s journals. I discovered that my mother believed my father had been unfaithful to her when I was only a baby. I will say clearly that I do not know if that is true. I only know what she suspected . . . that my father found other companionship while she was buried in babies.. She even thought she knew where – the Willard Hotel in Washington – the place where I had my senior prom, which must have been a bitter pill for her, although I had a suitably terrible time because, unbeknownst to her, I knew what that hotel meant to her. She lived all those decades still loving him, but with something deep inside that would always be restless, even after he died. The possibility of my father’s infidelity ate at my mother, I knew, but she stayed there, stayed with him and loved him, and after his stroke when he was nearly 70, she cared for him for two decades with a selflessness that is almost unimaginable.

“Don’t ever put me in that position,” I begged John when we were newly-weds. “Leave me if you must, but do not be unfaithful.”

If ever there was a case that perfectly illustrates how unresolved pain, especially pain that is carried on behalf of someone else – usually that of a parent – will find a way to become healed through being re-enacted later in life, this is it. Elizabeth witnessed her mother being “eaten away” by the suspicion of the infidelity and it has surely eaten away at Elizabeth, too, all through her life.

[Since cancer eats us alive, it is not too much of a stretch to implicate this trauma in the causation of her cancer. It is after all in the breast which is the heart chakra. In my experience in working with cancer patients, my observation is that breast cancer is often the result of a broken heart. Not only was her own heart broken in sympathy with her mother's but she has clearly not forgiven her father for causing the heartbreak. Since forgiveness, or the lack thereof, is also carried in the heart chakra, as well as repressed rage, I am not at all surprised that she should have cancer of the breast].

This seemingly tragic story is also very illustrative of how we enroll others to help us heal such deep and painful wounds. Our souls yearn for integrity and wholeness and at some point in our journey will seek to remove anything that is preventing those qualities from arising within us. Sometimes this can be achieved by ourselves but not infrequently it requires the cooperation of another soul who will agree to act out the situation again for us. By their re-enactment we can recognize the pain and bring it to the surface for healing through forgiveness.

This is exactly what John Edwards did for his wife. He did what Elizabeth suspected his father did so that she could become acquainted with her repressed rage towards her father and come to a place of forgiveness with him. John loved her enough to sacrifice his career and humiliate himself in front of the whole world so that she might either heal her cancer or at least die free of the pain she has carried all her life.

In my opinion, it’s the only rational explanation for what happened. Why else would a highly educated, extremely intelligent, intensely rational person with a razor-sharp legal mind who is perfectly able to assess the risk in any situation, running for the highest office in the land, allow himself to be drawn into a sordid little affair with a woman with that clumsy one-liner “You’re hot.” This might hook a rabid sex addict perhaps, but there’s no evidence that John had that addiction. Even to a skeptic this metaphysical explanation for John’s behavior makes infinitely more sense than that he would have thrown away his career for a very risky affair with that one woman.

I am absolutely convinced he did it for Elizabeth, and furthermore, her soul asked his soul to do it for her. It’s a perfect example of the kind of soul-to-soul healing transaction that typifies what we teach in Radical Forgiveness. It provides Elizabeth with the opportunity to forgive her father and to see the “perfection” in what John did – not TO her but FOR her.

You also have to ask yourself why would anyone say to their newly-wed husband, “Leave me if you must, but do not be unfaithful.” That’s seems indicative of an obsession, I would say. She even said that it was not a premonition. “I was talking about my own history.” She proves the old adage that what you focus on expands and eventually shows up. But beneath all that her statement is, to me at least, her signal for him to actually be unfaithful at some critical moment in their lives so she can heal her mother’s wound and her own. And you have to admit, he sure did choose the right moment for maximum effect.

If I were advising Elizabeth, or anyone else for that matter who was clearly holding onto to someone else’s pain, I would recommend two courses of action.

1. Do a Radical Forgiveness worksheet on her father so she could release all that repressed rage and judgment towards him. Better still, do the On-line “Breaking Free,” 21-day Program for Forgiving Your Parent. She could also do the “Moving Forward,” 21-day Program for Forgiving Your Partner working through her belief that John betrayed her. She also needs to do a Radical Forgiveness worksheet on the other woman because she was part of the plan too. Without her, it wouldn’t have happened. John needs to do one on her for the same reason.

2. Give her mother’s pain back, whether dead or not, and release the need to hold onto it. The reason I would give is that not only is it highly toxic to Elizabeth and likely to nourish her cancer, but from a spiritual point of view, she has no right to hold onto it. By doing so, she is preventing her mother’s soul from having the learning experience that was being offered to her in her own lifetime. Elizabeth is, in effect, stealing her mother’s karmic gold and she should return it forthwith.

I would love to see John and Elizabeth in my Miracles workshop. I know it would help them move through this experience and both would come out stronger and full of love for each other. And who knows – she might come out cancer free. It’s happened before.
____________________________________________

Colin Tipping, is the acknowledged authority on the application of this technology to the “healing” of individuals, families, races, corporations, and communities.

Please go to www.radicalforgiveness.com to learn more about Colin and other Radical Forgiveness strategies.

Midlife Marketers – It’s time to change how you market – using Heart

As you know I’m very careful about what
I recommend to you.

If you market ANYTHING

this book . . .

The Heart of Marketing
Love Your Customers and They Will Love You Back
(Morgan James Publishing)

. . . is a MUST read for the future of your
marketing and the growth of your business.

And no surprise it’s already a best-seller at
Amazon – so if you already know you want to
get the book and maybe some extras to give
to friends since there is a serious discount
at Amazon – just go to:

http://theheartofmarketing.com

The authors, husband and wife psychology
team and Internet marketers Judith Sherven
and Jim Sniechowski are respected friends
of mine (REALLY)– and they are the voice for what
is known as Soft Sell Marketing.

Now an international movement, Soft Sell
Marketing is creating a heart-based change
in commerce — to one of consciousness
and conscience, caring and community.

And their latest book The Heart of Marketing
is now the published voice for this change!

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Answering 45 questions out of 772 that they
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AND please pass this message on to all your
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This title may sound a little ‘hoofy-poofy’ but
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Feeling good about yourself afterwards will just
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#1 Bestselling Author of “Simpleology”
www.SIMPLEology.com

I really like the message embodied in “The Heart
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Founder, SelfGrowth.com

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That’s how important this book is to the future of
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Because, as Judith & Jim say,

It’s ALL in the Connection,

.

Dr. Toni
In-Lightened Enterprises, LLC
2607 S Brink Ave.
Sarasota, FL 34239
(941) 330-9922

http://www.tonilamotta.com