Monthly Archives: November 2007

Midlife and Aging

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AGING

Lakota Grandmother speaking to young adult grandson: 

“In the days of our youth, however, we put our faith in flesh, blood, and bone.  We think strength is going faster, farther, and higher.  We solve a problem by overwhelming it, or wearing it down.  But there comes a time when we can no longer do that.

“Eventually we learn to our dismay that we cannot go as fast, or as far, or as high.  So we learn the value of turning to our intellect, our ability to reason.  We attack a problem only after we’ve studied its various parts.  While flesh, blood, and bone cannot sustain strength indefinitely, we discover that knowledge can.  Its strength can grow and grow, indefinitely, if need be.

“With a store of knowledge, we begin to reach for wisdom.  As it is revealed to us more and more, we realize that we have reached our ultimate strength.  Like knowledge, wisdom grows.

“If knowledge is strength of mind, then wisdom is the strength of the soul.”

Keep Going: The Art of Perseverance

Page 71

Joseph M. Marshall III

Author of The Lakota Way

Menopause and Midlife

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Recently I watched an Oprah show that featured Dr. Christiana Northroup and I was struck particularly by something she said (well, a lot of what she said). To paraphrase — our soul keeps calling us to grow and sends messages continually. When we do not listen to the message, it begins to speak to us through our bodies – hence, dis-ease and breakdowns. The more we ignore, the louder the call.

I don’t know about you, but I have discovered that this is quite true. I no longer believe that ANYTHING in life is accidental and I have learned that whatever happens, I am at cause. Nothing happens because, but all things happen to call me to be-cause. The Universe is normally very gentle and quiet, but, when we ignore its more subtle messages, they get louder. (somewhat like a mother in the Bronx calling her child in from play..I notice that the voices got louder when the children ignored the first few calls!)

I don’t know about you, but I want to become a better listener. I often blame my aches and pains on the ‘aging process’ – but, I’ve decided to truly believe that the aging process is not about hearing loss but about listening more deeply; it’s not about developing disease but about life becoming easier as I learn to listen.

What do you think? What’s been your experience?

Midlife and Abundance

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I’ve been re-reading an old favorite, “You Money or Your Life” and am reminded of something I truly believe. Most of us don’t know when enough is enough. I, for one, never think I am doing enough…with the emphasis on the doing.

Midlife gives us the opportunity to pause and  begin to recognize that  what truly mattes in life, are not the things we’ve done or the gadgets we’ve accumulated, but the person we have become. I like who I am. I like who I am becoming. Do I HAVE it all?  No – nor do I think that’s a goal anymore.

I’m in the process of clearing out – cleaning out old clothes to make room for a new look I am developing. Cleaning out old journals – because they really only capture the moment they were written in, and that moment is no longer important.

Sometimes I grieve for those old moments. Grieving is an important part of moving forward, I believe. But, the grief is simply meant to be acknowledged and noticed and not lived from. I am living from my future – and it is constantly containing newness – different from the young girl who danced and sang. Different from the student and the poet. But, none the less special. I am learning to honor this new moment.  I am grateful. Are you?

Momentum in Midlife

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Today I heard a lecture from someone who used to work with Tony Robbins. I want to share a process he shared with us. I think it fits in my latest midlife musings.

For anything to happen in life, for a true Midlife Reinvention,
you need to take it through several stages before setting goals:
Get Clear
Get Certain
Get Excited
Get Focused
Get Committed
Get Momentum
Get Smart

You can probably fill in the meaning of each of these. Let’s share our ideas on this. You know how I feel about getting clear! It’s what I focus on with all my coaching clients. It’s step one…and two and three..

Midlife Musings

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Do you have a good coach? I do. I think it’s important. But, it’s particularly important to have one that honors YOU and your thinking and feeling, rather than one who tells you what to do. I discovered (well, I knew it before but it got clearer yesterday) that I often believe what other people say to me more than I trust my own guts and ideas. Why is that so? I haven’t fully explored that yet – I’ll keep you posted. But, I remember a time in high school when I got in trouble for something and my mom was angry at the teacher and I said – “she must be right!” Whew… I was already doubting my own knowing. I had done nothing wrong. Seriously.

It’s one of those midlife musings again to see the balance between getting help and acknowledging that you have all the answers within you. I’m beginning to see that the reason to go to a coach or counselor is to help get clear on what I already know. I often find myself saying, “No, that’s not it.” and that response is as valuable as the one that says, “right on!”

I invite you to ponder how often you go outside yourself to find answers that you already know. Do you know the difference. Let me hear from you. (It will help me clarify my own wisdom….)