Judith Sherven, PhD & James Sniechowski, PhD

When you were growing up what did you learn
about how you were supposed to think about and
treat people who were different from you and
your family? What did your family say? How
about your friends? Neighbors? What were the
messages you received either openly or by suggestion?

You may not have an answer right off, because
this is not a question that gets asked very often.
But think about it. It holds the key to better relationships
in every area of your life.

We’ve asked thousands of men and women in the
U.S. and overseas. They’ve all admitted that what they
learned, some more intensely than others, was to
distrust those who were different. So they kept up
their guard most of the time without even realizing it.

What does this have to do with you? We’ll get to that
in a minute. But, here’s another question.

When you were growing up, how were you treated
for all the ways you were different from the other
people in your family? Were you respected? Were you
teased? Were you praised? Or were you brought into
line, expected to be just like everyone else or else!?

The people we asked said that they learned to hide
what made them different. Some were ashamed of
themselves. Some were embarrassed. Some were
frightened. And what they decided about themselves
was tragic. They decided that they were somehow
flawed. It was their fault even when it came to how
they were brilliant, talented, beautiful, and all manner
of other exceptional gifts.

Think about that. What was it like for you? And here’s
why it’s important. You can’t help being who you are.
And what make you you? The ways you are unique
and, yes, different from everyone else. Now think
about being in a relationship.

You are unique. Your partner is unique. That means
you both are different from each other. Now if both
of you have buried in your unconscious minds the
belief that being different is somehow bad, even
dangerous, how do you expect your relationship can
ever be truly satisfying? It can’t be if you’re hiding
some parts of who you are and judging your partner
for who he or she is.

So what to do? First, know that you’re not alone. Even
a superficial scan of society shows that everyone’s wary
of those who are different. We’ve all learned it early
in life, just like you did.

Next, you have to want to believe that being different
is okay. And why not? Differences are inescapable.
Rejecting differences is like rejecting air. They’re
everywhere, and necessary for life.

And now, about love. What is love if it isn’t accepting
of all that you are? If you have to go through your
relationship fearing and hiding parts of who you are,
you’ll have to walk on eggs, and that’s very tiring.
It will also be the ruin of your relationship. If you’re
married and have children, that will set a foundation
for them to be wary of themselves and eventually not
be able to feel loved.

Remember, love loves all of you. And love will work
its way into your soul shining its light on even those
parts you’ve kept covered up. That’s also inevitable.
The only way that won’t happen is if you settle for
false love, the pretense of being emotionally intimate
with someone.

Take the time to remember what you learned about
differences. Those lessons that bring you joy and
pleasure, keep them. Those that don’t, that cause you
to disguise who you are and judge others, they’re not
doing you any good. Decide to change your mind.
That means decide to grow up and see the world from
your own particular perspective.

When you do you will free yourself, you will free
those you would have judged, and you will open
yourself to a love that you cannot now even imagine.

Can you have it? Of course. The chance is yours.
All you have to do is say “Yes.”
****
If love is still confusing, we created this
simple yet inspiring program just for you. Go to:
http://www.judithandjim.com/whatislove

Of course this list is not complete… But, I find these the easiest to focus on.

ABUNDANCE – Plentifulness, profusion, and ample or overflowing quantity. (The state of having more than enough!)

BALANCE – Equilibrium, harmony, an aesthetically pleasing integration of elements. (Giving enough energy and time to everything that is important to you.)

BEAUTY – Loveliness; the quality in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit.

FREEDOM – Liberation, independence, ease; the absence of necessity, coercion or constraint in choice or action.

JOY – Delight, gaiety, bliss; a state of happiness; the emotion evoked by well- being, success, good fortune or by the expectancy of good. (“Joy is a sure sign of the Presence of God.” – Yogananda)

LOVE – The self-givingness of God to Its creation; affection, devotion; unselfish concern that freely accepts another and seeks her/his good.

ORDER – Regular or harmonious arrangement; organization; a straightening out so as to eliminate confusion.

PEACE – A state of tranquillity or quiet; freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions; harmony in personal relations.

POWER – Possession of control, authority or influence; physical, mental or spiritual ability to act or produce an effect.

UNITY – Oneness; accord; continuity without deviation or change.

WHOLENESS – The quality or state of being complete, perfect, restored, unhurt, healed and having all parts or components.

WISDOM – Knowledge, insight, good sense; ability to discern inner qualities and Relationships.

For more information on the Qualities of God and how to use them in goal setting, call Dr. Toni or check out her home page at http://www.tonilamotta.com

My latest book, “The Key: The Missing Secret to Attracting
Whatever You Want,” comes out late next month. Here’s an
excerpt from it….

***** Excerpt from “The Key” *****

[Although this happened in the past it is a great example
of how to have miracles show up in your life.]

One day I drove into Austin, Texas and met with the staff
that runs my Miracles Coaching http://miraclescoaching.com
program and my Executive Mentoring Program.

I shared with them the greatest secret to manifesting
whatever you want, the key to success and what brings
miracles into your life.

At lunch with the staff, I stood up and told them something
that I felt inspired to share. I put a dot on the whiteboard
on the wall and circled it.

“You are here,” I said.

I told them the whiteboard is like the map at the mall where
all the stores are listed and a little box says “You are
here” to give you your bearings.

“Where do you want to go from here?” I asked.

“Up,” someone said.

“Off the whiteboard itself,” someone else said.

“This is all good,” I went on. “You all want to move up. You
want more sales, more results, and more wealth. Right?”

They all agreed.

I then put another dot on the board, way up at the top of
it, and circled it.

“That represents where you want to go,” I said.

I then asked the key question, “How do you go from where you
are to where you want to be?”

They were quiet for a moment, but then began saying things
like “Take a straight line,” and “Do one thing at a time,”
and “Make more sales calls,” and so on.

“That’s all good,” I said. “Those are all practical answers.
But I want you to think in terms of the movie The Secret and
my book The Attractor Factor.”

I added, “I’m going to tell you what I think is the greatest
secret to manifesting whatever you want.”

They were quiet, not sure where I was going with all this.

“Does anyone want to know what the secret is?” I asked.

They all burst out laughing. They definitely wanted to know.

I pointed at the little “You are here” dot and said, “The
secret to getting what you want is to totally appreciate
this moment. When you are grateful for this moment, then
whatever is next for you will bubble up out of this moment.
You’ll be inspired to take action of some sort. That will
lead you up. But the only way to get to the upper dot is to
live in this dot with gratitude.”

They’ve all heard this before, but I wanted them to truly
get it.

I then told them about my Maui friend, Bootzie, who says my
favorite line these days: “I’m totally satisfied, I just
want more.”

That’s the key to success, I explained.

It’s *wanting* more without *needing* more.

I went on and on about being grateful, and how it leads to
that upward climb. Most of us aren’t happy right now,
thinking we will be happy when we get to that other dot. But
the great joke is that when you get to the other dot, you
won’t be happy. You’ll be looking for another dot on the
map. You’ll use unhappiness to whip yourself forward. The
thing is, it doesn’t have to be that way.

Just be happy now.

Out of this now will come the miracles you seek.

The group got the message. They shook my hand. Smiled.
Showed light in their eyes. Walked away with a spring in
their step.

Now here’s the really juicy part.

I got a phone call right after that meeting. It was Suzanne,
my assistant. She almost never calls me, and she knew I was
in a meeting. So I knew this call had to be important.

I took the call and to my delight I learned that Oprah’s
people wanted my media kit.

And they wanted it by midnight.

Oprah’s folks are considering me as a guest for a show!

Now get this: I was happy in the moment. As I’m happy, the
next moment brings its own rewards. As I’m happy in that
moment, it too gives birth to more joy.

You can do this, too. You may not have Oprah call you, but
you will get what is right for you. I explain all of this in
the book, Zero Limits. But the essence of the message is
this:

All you have to do is embrace the dot that says “You are
here” and do what it tells you to do.

And when the phone rings, answer it!

This step is all about being grateful. I can’t stress how
important this one method can be in clearing you so you can
have the miracles you see.

One of the major truths of the Spiritual life is that there is ALWAYS more. It is the nature of Spirit to expand and our nature to continually be seeking SOMETHING MORE. We don’t have to be frustrated in the search. Just like there are laws that govern mathematics, music, physics and the physical universe, so there are spiritual laws that teach us how to prosper.

LAW 1 The Bible describes the first law when it speaks of sowing and reaping. Scientists describe it as action and reaction. Economists call it supply and demand. Emerson called it the law of compensation – like attracts like.

That which you radiate outward in your thoughts, feelings, mental pictures and words, you attract into your life and affairs. Each of us is a magnet. We don’t need to force success and prosperity. We need to develop an expectant, prosperous state of mind that is a magnet for all good rather than entertaining the tense, critical, anxious, depressed, unforgiving, possessive state of mind that is a magnet for all kinds of trouble and failure. Nothing can stand between you and the good you
dare to choose.

LAW 2 –You have heard it said that “Nature abhors a vacuum”. It is particularly true in the realm of prosperity. If you want greater good in your life, start forming a vacuum!! Get RID OF WHAT you don’t want to make room for what you do.

If there are clothes in your closet or furniture in your home or office that no longer seem right for you, give them away.

If there are people among your acquaintances and friends that no longer seem congenial – begin moving away.

Often it is difficult to know what you do want until you get rid of what you don’t. When you let go of the lesser, you make room for the greater. When you dare to form a vacuum, the substance of the universe rushes in to fill that empty space.

LAW 3 – the Law of creation says:

• have a plan – write it out and constantly expand it
• mentally imagine the plan as fulfilled
• constantly affirm its perfect fulfillment

LAW 4 Dr. Emile Coue first declared that the imagination is a much stronger force than will power. When the imagination and will are in conflict, the imagination always wins. Spend time picturing what you want to happen coming to pass. Feel the feelings; get ONE WITH God/the Good on this.

LAW 5 – There has never been a nation in which the practice of this last ancient law has not prevailed. The early Egyptians, Babylonians, Persians, Arabians, Greeks, Romans and Chinese were among those who used this method. Even primitive man, through the financial sacrifices he offered his gods, practiced it.

True prosperity has a spiritual basis. God is the Source of your supply. Your mind, body, abilities, talents, education, experience, job or profession are all instruments and channels of your prosperity, but God is the Source.

You must do something definite and consistent to keep in touch with that rich Source, if you want to be consistently prospered.

Systematic giving opens the way to systematic receiving. Give through the consistent sharing of your tithes with God’s work and workers at the point or points where you are receiving spiritual help and inspiration. The word TITHE means TENTH and the ancient people felt that TEN was the magic number of increase.

Jacob, at a low point in his life, made a tithe covenant with God, in which he asked for prosperity, guidance, peace of mind and reconciliation with his family. In turn, he promised, “Of all that thou shalt give me, I will surely give the tenth unto thee.” It is little wonder that Jacob became one of the bible’s early millionaires…

Make a COVENANT with God – — what do you want to receive? What are you willing to give?

For more information on how to hire Dr, Toni for a speaking engagement or workshop CLICK HERE NOW